A Time for Introspection
I've waxed poetic fairly often lately about my wanderlust and my future dreams. It's even fair to say that I've had my head in the clouds more times than I care to admit. The reasons for my frequent daydreams aren't all that complicated, and most people could easily understand where they come from and why I have them. In other words, I don't think you or anyone else would fault me for it.
Having said that, I've begun to realize just how much of a toll wishes and dreams can have on one's psyche. Instead of being satisfied with my current life, I've created a world where I live in a future that only I can see and one that I readily admit may or may not be what I'm hoping it will be.
I've talked before about the Five Year Shift, an internal change that happens to people every five years of their lives...especially around the 0 and 5 birthdays (20, 25, 30, etc.). I turned forty-five on my last birthday, and I've felt the shift ever since, particularly over the last four months.
While I've felt restless as of late, I've also started to ponder more on my life. I'm heavily involved with an up-and-coming organization where I have a top position and a chance at a bright future; after toiling away for the last five years, I'm an official multi-book author - even if I'm not a rich & famous one; I've gotten to travel around my country as well as three others; I have an amazing, little family of my own that I adore; I have a wonderful set of friends that are real & true; I carve out trips and adventure often, even if they're in my own backyard; I have a great job with great co-workers; and I live in a beautiful place. I've had all this right in front of me the whole time yet I couldn't see the forest through the trees.
What does this mean? It means that I'm going to stop living in the clouds and start living on the soil where I reside. While I won't ever give up on my lofty dreams for the future, I'm going to start realizing the full potential of the here-and-now. I mean, why not? I have a lot going for me right now if I would just fully embrace it. I'm going to give my all to my appointment with the aforementioned organization, and I'm going to start working more purposefully at my job. I'm going to spend more quality time with my favorite people, and I'll continue to adventure in my beautiful neck of the woods. I'm going to make my next book my best yet, and become a better writer. But most importantly, I'm going to start living my whole life with more thoughtfulness and meaning.
This is my life, and, while it's not always perfect, it's a damn good life. I just need to start acting like it. To that end, I'm going to make sure I can give all the various things that are important to me the time they deserve. This means, among other things, scaling back on how much time I spend online (something I've already done) at places like facebook, and also with this blog. Make no mistake, I love my blog. This place is my home, my refuge, and my space. It's where I can pour out my heart, my frustrations, my hopes, my sadness, my dreams, and my greatest moments. I'll never give this up (at least, not anytime soon), but I am going to reduce my posting down to two days a week: Wednesdays and Saturdays, with an occasional extra post here and there. This means you get better posts from me while I get to share better posts with you and give my life it's proper due.
My universe it going to be exactly what I make of it from now on: moving, changing, and breathing. It won't always be sunny, but I'll embrace it all the same.