My name is H.A. Larson and I am a Woman of a Particular Age. I occasionally write ghostly and horror novellas, as well as some editorials for different publications, from my desk in the Midwest. I'm a hiker, adventurer, and traveler. I'm an ex-pat in-training that likes wine and Renaissance Faires. I'm a music fanatic and I much prefer a book over television.
It's a relaxing and peaceful morning here in my home as I write this. It's my day off and the slight breeze is crisp and cool as it floats in through my windows. Not only am I the only person here right now, but it's also eerily quiet outside as well. No one is stirring in the neighborhood and I hear nary a car coming down my street...a rarity to be sure!
It's the perfect time to sit and reflect upon my life - to think about the past, ruminate on the present, and plan for my future. If you've been keeping up with my blog over the past year or two, then you know the personal changes and struggles that I have faced. I've been pretty open about them in an attempt to bring my broken pieces back together into a whole. It's refreshing to sit here, then, and tell you that I am in an amazing place right now.
The reasons for this are mainly due to me taking back the reigns of my life and righting my course. I've had to push myself to do things I had been slacking on while other things finally came to fruition after being able to do nothing but merely wait. Just as importantly, I finally came up with a future goal that finally realizes my dreams. Sure, getting to those goals will take a decade of hard work, but I'm more than ready for the challenge.
See, for many years, I was just stuck in my life. A life that wasn't happy, rewarding, or positive. Sure, I tried my best to make the most of it - and to that end I succeeded quite well - but inside I was miserable. And when you're miserable inside, eventually it comes out, manifesting itself in your everyday life. It's an awful state to be in and an even worse one to deal with. It means that you have to face hard truths, understand the full scope of what has transpired, and then make plans to deal with it all. It's a daunting set of tasks, to be sure, and it can leave you with the sense that you're drowning. I was the lone passenger on my sinking ship called "Overwhelmed". I was trapped and felt stuck.
But, I persevered and did what I needed to do to get unstuck and reclaim my life. For the first time in a very long time, I feel free, focused, and, calm; and I have goals that set me on fire everyday. It's a wonderful head space to be in. When I think about my life a year ago, it's like staring in the window of a stranger's house. I barely recognize the person I was. But, I can empathize with that person because I know how incredibly difficult life was and how hard it was just to get out of bed everyday. I can remember all of the unhealthy coping mechanisms I used just to deal with my pain and trauma.
That person is gone now, replaced by a woman with confidence. A woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid of the hard work it's going to take to get there. I've turned the corner, finally, and it feels great.
I've been hard at work writing up special posts for October, the best month of the year! I can't wait to start sharing those with you...it's going to be a fun ride. Until then, have a great rest of your weekend, and a fabulous week ahead.