Facing the Truth

My daughter takes the lead on a hike in my beloved Iowa Mountains.

Lately, I've been pondering on my life as an author. My last book, The Box, was published two and a half years ago, right before my life changed significantly. That change saw my creative spark to write die off, but when things calmed down I started coming up with a bunch of new story ideas. This means I was ready to write again. Right?

The answer to that seems to be "no". While I certainly have come up with new story ideas, and have even started several new short stories and am close to completing one of them, it's just not in me. 

For five years I was compelled to write. To that end, I would wake up every morning and write. It might only be a few lines, but I wrote consistently each and every single day. That's how it is with being a writer - you write because you don't have a choice, and you can't force yourself to write no matter how badly you feel you want to be an author. This last point is exactly where I am at. I go weeks sometimes without writing a thing.

I was completely devastated by this at first, but I've come to realize that it's okay if my drive to write is gone. I accomplished a lot as a writer and I'm proud of the work that I've done. I wrote editorials for a local magazine for two years, I wrote a total of seven published novellas, I wrote some fun pieces for an online metal music mag, and I have three more novellas started as well as several short stories. But, there's no point in dwelling on something I don't have any control over, so, it's time to move on.

While my compulsion to write isn't there, my desire to create is as strong as ever. That's why I'll still be here, creating the same content as I usually create. I've written well over 600 posts here in the eight years of this blog's existence, and I have no desire to retire it. In addition to my usual content, I'll also be creating new content that is focused on my other passions, the ones I am compelled to do.

With the shift in focus (and I use that term loosely as my blog has always been a varietal hodgepodge), comes a shift in the name. I'm no longer H.A. Larson - Author, but The Forest of Trees and Concrete, the gal who effortlessly moves between two worlds: that of the city, and that of her beloved outdoors.

And if I ever do get the drive back to write again? Well, you can bet I will do exactly that...and post all about it here.


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