A Sense of Time
The older I've gotten, the faster time has gone by. It's a fact of life, this fleeting time, and while it's frightening at times, it's something that I've gotten used to. Because of this sense of time, there never seemed to be enough of it, so everything I did was gauged against this measurement. "I just worked all day and made supper, do I really want to do the dishes right now?" "I've had a long, busy week, I think I'll just watch something mindless and go to bed early." So many things that I should do or want to do, would be carefully measured against how much extra time I felt I had to spare.
Things have changed, as we all know, and suddenly, I find myself with a lot more excess time. At first, I didn't know what to do with it, and, mentally, I struggled to do so. Recently, however, I've begun to realize what a gift this actually is. For once in my life, time has slowed down.
I have more time than ever to indulge in things I'm passionate about. I have more time to spend with my kids that are nearly grown and out of the house. And, I can combine my time to get more necessary things done. What I mean by this is that during the week, I can do laundry, bake bread, do dishes, vacuum, and a host of other tasks while I'm working. I can take long, mindful walks before my workday begins or I can watch a show or take a nap - if I so choose - on my lunch break.
I can be ready to get out and hike before my workday ends so that I'm in my car and on my way to my destination the minute I'm done with work. I can stay up later reading that book, and sleep in until right before my day starts if I so choose. I don't have to even put a bra on if I don't want to.
While I hated all this extra time at first, for a few reasons, I'm enjoying it to the fullest now. I know it won't last forever, so I'm going to embrace it as long as I can. Until my twilight years, I'll probably never know another period in my life where time has slowed to a crawl. I'm more relaxed than I probably have ever been.
I'm good with that.