There were many times this year when I was mired under the weight of many responsibilities, that I began to think I would never write like I used to. No matter how many times I sat down at my computer to type words like I had done so many times in the past, no matter how many times I moved between different writing projects I had started, I just couldn't get into the groove. As a writer, this was a huge blow and I began to think I might have to hang it up.
As the year wore on, however, I realized that it wasn't my creative drive dying but rather my overextension on things that weren't making me happy. I was spending all of my free time outside of my job and sleeping working on these other endeavors for no real compensation or satisfaction. When I started removing these things, little by little bit by bit, off my plate, I started to get my groove back.
It wasn't an overnight thing, but now that a handful of weeks have passed, I can say with all confidence that I'm fully back into writing mode. I've been working earnestly on Vanished, a short story for my newsletter subscribers, and even on some pitches for freelance stuff - something I've been wanting to do for a while. I know successful freelancing would be a great way to hone my skills while making some much-needed extra cash, but I just needed the time and focus to start working on them.
Ever since I began this journey five years ago, I've wanted nothing more than to be a writer. I worked diligently on this dream for four years before letting myself get sidetracked by other things. Well, never again. I can't describe the joy I feel now that I can devote my free time to my craft again.
Like I mentioned recently, I try and take the difficulties that plague my life at various times and turn them into learning opportunities. This is one of those times. I think I needed to explore all the opportunities laid before me to truly find out what it was that I wanted to accomplish with my life. I don't regret, then, the things I've been involved in. They were great learning experiences and a firm reminder of who I am and what I want.
Either way, at the end of the day, I'm back to being H.A. Larson - Author, and that's exactly who I am meant to be.