Time is the Master of Us All

 

Recently, I was reading a blog post written in 2017. Not that long ago, right? WRONG. It was nine freaking years ago! My heart sank in my chest a little bit when that realization struck me.

Every Monday at work, we have a staff meeting. My boss always goes over things happening in the upcoming weeks and will say something like, "And that brings us to (insert the following month)." At least four meetings in a row, I pondered out loud, "This year is just flying by." 

In January, I really started to feel the burnout of the rat race and began wondering if I had enough money to just retire already.

My daughter turned 20 in June, which means I have no more teenagers. My son will be 27 in October, inching that much closer toward 30.

My dad is getting older, and I can see how the past couple of years have worn him down.

My mom, ever full of energy and youth, began to complain that she's feeling her age.

I have liver spots on my hands and lines around my eyes.

There are only two people in the building I work in who are older than me.

Every day, week, weekend, month, and year goes by a little faster all the time.

I think about my grandma who passed away last year at 93. I had made the good decision to go visit her a few months prior, sensing her time was coming to a close. One of the first things she said to me was, "I don't know why God let me live this long."

I think back to the last time I saw my other grandma, lying in a hospital bed 24 years ago. She was dying, but was calm. She had accepted her fate. 

Sometimes I grieve for a certain moment in time. When I was 7 years old, wearing my pretty Easter dress, and playing in the green grass, surrounded by flowers in full bloom, while the Sun bathed me in a pleasant light. When I was 18 and didn't know all that the world had to offer, so I spent a lot of years lost and wandering. The former memory had a certain ambience I wish to experience again, while I wish I could go back in time to the latter to change the course of my life.

This is a season of reflection and a raw understanding that time waits for no one. 

It's also a reminder that I need to live life as fully as possible and not to stop until I don't have another choice.

Time is our master, and we're just passing through.