My name is H.A. Larson and I am a Woman of a Particular Age. I occasionally write ghostly and horror novellas, as well as some editorials for different publications, from my desk in the Midwest. I'm a hiker, adventurer, and traveler. I'm an ex-pat in-training that likes wine and Renaissance Faires. I'm a music fanatic and I much prefer a book over television.
I don't know why, but sometimes I give up too easily and it needs to stop. It's nothing more than an act of self-sabotage that gets me with my second, third, or even last option....for everything. As an example, it's no secret that I am obsessed with Europe, a fact that only got more pronounced after my trip to Ireland back in 2014. My plan for the past three years has been to retire early to Dublin. Lately, though, I've started making excuses why I should pick another option here in the States. Sure, it's a good option but it's not my first option. It's almost like I find the negatives and hold on for dear life.
But, it's not just my early retirement plans to Europe that I tried to give up on. I've been on a journey of health for a long time now. During that time I've yo-yo'd and gone through ups and downs. Every time I fall off the wagon, I tend to just want to give up, and then I'm stuck in fail mode for months! It's so exasperating.
While I made so much progress in my life by reaching a lot of goals over the past couple of years, I've also had some setbacks. While my successes outweigh my failures, I focus on the failures and just wallow in them. I had a moment of awareness recently that made me realize just what I was doing to myself and I understand that I have to do something to reverse this mode of thinking.
I'm not giving up! I'm going to move forward, one step at a time, and for every step, I will concentrate on one or two goals at a time.